


your photo should be in the dictionary next to the word beauty

by parttimehuman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Derek doesn't know how to feel about it, Getting Together, M/M, Stiles teaches himself Spanish, but everything turns out Sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24274339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parttimehuman/pseuds/parttimehuman
Summary: After Stiles finds out about Derek's excellent Spanish skills, he sets his mind to learning Spanish. Shenanigans ensue and extremely bad pick-up lines are used.The question is: Are we sure they don't work on Derek?
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 20
Kudos: 304





	your photo should be in the dictionary next to the word beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maraudersourwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersourwolf/gifts).



> Butchering your friend's mother tongue is a love language. Thank you for being awesome, my love. 
> 
> Please note that this is not necessarily canon-compliant, not beta'd or edited much. Neither Spanish nor English are my first language so please be gentle.

Briefly, Stiles gets stuck on his utter disbelief of the fact that nobody thought to inform him about Derek’s excellent Spanish skills. Had extraordinary circumstances not forced him to come up with a lie in front of Daddy McCall and introduce a momentarily unrecognizable Derek to the man as Stiles’ cousin Miguel, he would have never known. For literal years, Stiles has been clinging to the smallest scraps of information about Derek’s life because of how hard they are to obtain, and all of a sudden, there’s this big secret unveiled, just like that. By  _ accident. _

Once he’s gotten over his initial shock - you wouldn’t think unforeseen revelations still hold the power to shock him, but they do - Stiles starts to see this unexpected linguistic surprise for what it is: a treasure. It’s exactly what he didn’t know he needed but still did. Badly. A new starting point on his journey to getting to know Derek Hale. Something to share. Something to bond over. 

The second cousin Miguel’s adorable little face has made way for his favorite sourwolf again, Stiles gets to work. Scott isn’t as much help as he hoped his best friend would be, but Lydia? Bless that woman, there really is nothing she can’t do. A trip to the library and a coffee run later, Stiles’ room is all set up, the giant whiteboard freed from other, now irrelevant things. He has access to the unlimited knowledge that can be found on the internet, two different dictionaries, several workbooks used for AP Spanish class at Beacon Hills High, but most importantly, he has a borderline worrying amount of energy and his very own brand of stubborn determination.

How hard can it be to teach himself Spanish? 

As it turns out, the answer is  _ very hard. _ The beginning is easy, because when you start at zero, there’s a lot of progress to be made in very little time. It takes an hour until Stiles can say hello, introduce himself and ask a hypothetical conversation partner to please speak slowly and clearly. He loses track of time after that, but before he goes to sleep he’s pretty confident in his ability to make small talk. The key is repetition, so he writes the most basic words and phrases on flash cards and says them out loud again and again and again. 

Once Stiles tackles grammar, things get slightly more complicated. Wouldn’t it be nice if every language in the world just worked the same way and you could simply translate single words? He soon begins wishing it was that easy. Instead, he’s facing a whole new system and some things don’t make sense, no matter how many times he reads over the according chapter in his murder weapon of a grammar book or how many youtube videos he watches. 

Does this mean Stiles gives up? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. All the big, beautiful things in life take a little effort, he’s sure some genius has said something along those lines at some point during human history. Plus, learning Spanish isn’t just another one of his random, temporary hyperfixations. This time, it’s not about wasting time or giving his brain something to do. This time, it’s about Derek.

Every time Stiles gets stuck, he imagines the moment he will be able to walk up to Derek and strike up a casual conversation. In Spanish. The language Derek speaks fluently but presumably doesn’t have many people to speak it with. Stiles can’t wait to see his face when that moment finally comes. 

*

“What did you just say to me?” Derek growls. He prays it wasn’t what he thinks it was. He seriously doesn’t think he can take it. 

For just a half second, he can see insecurity on Stiles’ face, but he already knows it takes more than that to stop him from talking. The look is gone as fast as it appeared, Stiles clears his throat and repeats the exact same words. 

“Hola Derek, acabo de darme cuenta de que te pareces mucho a mi siguiente novio.” 

And then, when he’s finished, Stiles looks up at him with his big, brown eyes as if he’s expecting something. What on earth? 

“Do you know what you just said?” Derek asks him. He’s genuinely curious. 

“Hello Derek, I just realized that you look a lot like my next boyfriend. Or did I do something wrong?” 

Derek doesn’t even know what to say to that, which he should be used to after years of knowing Stiles, but come on, an extremely cringey pick-up line, very obviously learned by heart and uttered with questionable pronunciation? It might be a new low. One that renders Derek speechless despite his involuntary but extensive experience with Stiles’ shenanigans. 

And this, _this,_ is exactly why you don’t tell Stiles Stilinski things about yourself. Because he’s seemingly incapable of simply accepting information, but instead always has to _do_ _something_ about it. 

“Please never say that again,” Derek sighs. Why does he put up with this guy again? “Especially don’t say it to me. But if you know what’s good for you, definitely don’t say it to anybody else either.” 

“You didn’t like that one? No problem, I know a few more.” 

Derek commits the grave mistake of not shutting him down immediately, which leads to Stiles proving that yes, he is indeed insane enough to have memorized not only one but several pick-up lines, every one of them more horrifying that the preceding one. 

“Perdí mi número. ¿Puedo tener el tuyo?” 

“You already have my number,” Derek says grimly, “I know because I spend a considerable part of every day regretting ever having given it to you.” 

“¿Crees en amor a primera vista, o debo pasarte otra vez?” 

“You do realize that that one makes zero sense, right?” Derek feels the stupid need to point this out for some reason. “We’ve seen each other countless times. And I don’t know if I believe in love at first sight, but you have taught me to believe in annoyance at first sight. And no, you don’t need to walk past me again. Please don’t. Please just leave me alone. This is so ridiculous.” 

“I can’t believe you’re not appreciating all the effort I’ve put into this!” Stiles complains. He does it in the same way he always does it, with his skinny, way too long arms flailing, looking at Derek like  _ he’s  _ the one being unreasonably offensive. 

“You googled stuff to get on my nerves,” Derek says. “Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do.” 

“Excuse me,” Stiles argues, pointing at Derek with one finger, “but I’ll have you know I have been working on my language skills a lot recently. And I happen to be very proud of my progress, so don’t you dare make me feel bad for it.” 

Derek rolls his eyes. He can’t deal with this. It’s always drama with Stiles. He didn’t ask him to learn Spanish. Derek barely ever uses it and it seems superfluous when they both speak English perfectly. If he wanted Stiles to speak Spanish with him - and for the record, he doesn’t - it wouldn’t be through extremely embarrassing attempts of flirtation. 

Because here lies the entire problem: flirting, to Derek, is not a joke. He doesn’t do it for his entertainment or out of boredom. He doesn’t want the attention. He wants it to be real. And the only person he would maybe consider flirting with is the one person constantly making a joke out of it. It’s like showing up in Derek’s life giving him feelings he hadn’t asked for and stealing his heart without Derek even realizing wasn’t enough. Like Stiles has to torture him some more now that it has happened. 

“You know what? I’m not having a good enough day to put up with whatever this is,” Derek says and turns away, leaving. 

“I know you’re doing your thing right now,” Stiles yells after him,” but, cuando Dios inventó la belleza se inspiró en ti, and that’s still true!” \- [ _ When God invented beauty he was inspired by you.] _

Seriously? Derek is more the type for death glares than facepalms, but in that moment, even if Stiles can’t see his face, he feels like he needs to smack his own forehead. Maybe it will help make him forget what he just witnessed. 

Unfortunately, it turns out to be very foolish of Derek to think he can escape Stiles by simply walking away. It’s not like it keeps the guy from sending him messages. Derek only wishes they were at least text messages, but apparently what Stiles said is true and he does take pride in his so-called skills, which compels him to showcase his terrible accent in his voice messages. Derek clicks play on the first one without thinking. 

_ “Hola Derek. Soy yo, tu mejor amigo y futuro marido.”  _

The sound of Derek’s name in between Spanish words amuses him for some reason. Stiles referring to himself as Derek’s best friend and future husband? Not so much. But of course, it gets worse. 

_ “Tengo una pregunto para ti. ¿Estás perdido? Porque el cielo es un largo camino desde aquí.”  _ _ \- [I have a question for you. Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here.] _

Derek groans. Can a human being be any more… he doesn’t even know a good word to describe Stiles right now. Neither in English nor in Spanish. God only knows what in all seven hells makes him click on the next message. 

_ “¿Qué hace una estrella volando tan bajito?”  _ _ \- [What’s a star doing flying this low?]  _

Seriously, they’re not even original pick-up lines. They’re honestly just the worst ones that exist. And then Stiles’ voice. And the way he tries to get the r’s right not quite successfully. And… 

Goddamn, Derek is already pressing play on the next message. 

_ “No necesito leer tus términos y condiciones para aceptarte.”  _ _ \- [I don’t need to read your terms and conditions to accept you.] _

That one shouldn’t even count as a pick-up line, Derek thinks to himself, it’s just straight-up nonsense. Terms and conditions. He laughs. It’s so stupid. It’s so entirely stupid that he can’t help but be amused by it. 

_ “Ojalá fueras bombero para apagar el fuego de mi deseo.”  _ _ \- [If only you were a firefighter so you could extinguish my burning desire.] _

Stiles has moved on from cheesy to horny, apparently. Derek can’t decide if it’s better or worse. Is it weird that he notices how Stiles is sounding a little more fluent now? Like he’s actually gaining practice by doing something utterly silly like sending pick up-lines via voice message to Derek? Most definitely weird, yes. But there’s also not really anything he can do about it. 

_ “Si besarte fuera pecado, caminaría feliz por el infierno.”  _ _ \- [If kissing you was a sin, I’d happily walk through hell.] _

It was the last message. Derek puts his phone down and closes his eyes. And then his thoughts start running in his head, which is exactly why he knew the whole thing was dangerous. Catastrophic. Because now he’s imagining a life in which Stiles actually means at least some of those things he’s been saying. Like that he thinks Derek is beautiful, or that he wants to kiss him. Derek isn’t supposed to give in to these thoughts anymore. But what can he do? Once someone has gotten under your skin by being shamelessly and unapologetically themselves - their messy, smart, disastrous, beautiful self - what is there to do about it? 

One more message comes in hours after the others. Derek listens to it more than just once. He can’t help himself. It’s hopeless. He is hopeless. 

_ “Si tus ojos fueran el cielo y tu boca el mar, me gustaría ser el horizonte para poderte besar.”  _ _ \- [If your eyes were the sky and your mouth the sea, I would like to be the horizon so I could kiss you.] _

*

He might have overdone it this time. It wasn’t necessarily Stiles’ plan to hit Derek up with a bunch of very cliché pick-up lines that made even Stiles himself cringe (hard), but then he got nervous and panicked. It’s his go-to defense mechanism. Making it seem like he’s been joking all along appears to be a good way to protect himself from embarrassment. He had prepared so many conversation starters. But then he saw Derek and remembered the pick-up lines he’d learned. They just popped in his head and he ran with them. Stopping himself from doing so is not exactly his strong suit. 

Of course, he could have changed his strategy after Derek had walked away from him, but he figured it was too late. He had made a commitment, and so he stuck with it. Whether it was a particularly good call or not, he has no idea. At the moment, he doesn’t really know anything, except that Derek has definitely listened to all the voice messages he’s sent. But what is he supposed to make of that? 

Sometimes Stiles really wishes he could just stop thinking so much. Or distract himself and think about something more pleasant instead. It seems to work that way for most other people. Take Scott for example. He doesn’t feel well? Easy, Stiles just has to divert his attention from whatever is making him uncomfortable. He’s like a puppy that way. 

Much to Stiles’ dismay, Derek Hale is not something his attention can be diverted from. And the fact that most of the Spanish vocabulary scribbled on Stiles’ whiteboard is in some way related to the general topic of love and relationships doesn’t help either. Oh dear, what has he done? And how on earth is he going to- 

There’s a knock on his door. 

“Not now, Dad,” he groans. He’s sure he deserves whatever lecture is waiting for him on the other side of the door to his bedroom, but he couldn’t be in a worse mood for it. The door creaks anyway. Of course. No mercy for him. 

“Not your Dad.” 

Stiles jumps as soon as he hears the voice. Derek. This might actually be worse than one of his recent shenanigans having been discovered. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Derek murmurs. He looks strange in Stiles’ door frame wearing socks. He looks strange in general because of something to do with the look on his face. 

“What’s up?” Stiles could have asked  _ ¿Qué pasa? _ instead, but he doesn’t think he’s feeling it anymore. Maybe he could learn French instead. At least he can’t think of anyone devastatingly handsome he knows who speaks French. 

“I just came by to tell you something,” Derek says, quietly closing the door behind him. Is Stiles’ vision getting worse or has someone softened Derek’s edges, especially those of his face? 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

Derek sighs and sits down next to Stiles on the bed, looking at him briefly from the side before turning his gaze to his own hands, grinning. His voice is soft as he speaks. “Eres tan guapo que tu foto debería estar en el diccionario al lado de la palabra belleza.” 

Before Stiles can slowly pick the sentence apart to make sense of it in his head, his heart starts pounding inside his chest. He can’t think, and he isn’t sure, but there aren’t many reasons why Derek would speak to him in Spanish. His best guess is that the first part of the sentence means  _ ‘You are so pretty.’  _ and then at the end there definitely was the Spanish word for beauty, and does he really need to understand every single word in between? 

“¿Es verdad?” He asks. _ \- [Is it true?] _

Derek simply nods and lays his hand between them, palm facing upwards. Open. Waiting. 

“Es verdad.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this please consider making a stressed out essential worker's day by leaving kudos or a comment, I appreciate the shit out of them. 
> 
> You may also yell at me on [tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/flyde)


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